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I am Not Doing Anything Wrong

Debut novel by Sveta Lukyanova







ORIGINAL TITLE:    Я ничего плохого не делаю    

ORIGINAL PUBLISHER:    Papier Mâché, 2023

176 PAGES       

ENGLISH SAMPLE AVAILABLE


“I spend two weeks planning for your birthday. I buy tights, lace underwear, a short fringed skirt, a T-shirt with snakes, latex binding tape, sex toy soap, a bottle of bubbly and grapes. I book a room with breakfast at the Hilton. I pack your present, a vibrator, in black paper and tie it with a black ribbon. Before I open the door for you, I put on some music.”



A heartfelt exploration of growing up as a queer girl in 1990s small-town Russia and the challenges of a later-in-life lesbian coming-out. 

In I Am Not Doing Anything Wrong, Sveta Lukyanova, a writer in her thirties, embarks on a journey of self-discovery triggered by a life crisis. Set against the backdrop of 2000s Tatarstan, Russia, this coming-of-age novel explores the complexities of growing up as a queer teen, often oblivious to one's own identity. From enduring bullying to secret desires, the narrative weaves together various genres, including essays, a play, lesbian erotica, and prose poetry, capturing the turbulence of Sveta's late-in-life queer awakening. Her quest for authenticity forces her to confront the societal pressures of compulsory heterosexuality, even if it means risking her once-happy marriage during a tumultuous period in her homeland's history.













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